It happened to me too. Someone I trusted, who promised to always be honest with me, suddenly disappeared without a word or explanation. I think this is the most hurtful thing one person can do to another.

The term ghosting became widely known over the past decade, appearing more and more frequently in conversations about modern relationships. But where does this term come from, and why do people find it so painful when someone “becomes a ghost”? According to research, one in four people has experienced ghosting, and one in five admits to having done it themselves. This shows that this phenomenon is deeply embedded in modern relationship dynamics, making it an important topic to address.

Ghosting describes the behavior where someone abruptly and without explanation cuts off communication with another person, simply disappearing from their life. This phenomenon has become especially common with the rise of online dating and digital communication, where anonymity and instant connectivity make disappearing easier. The term originates from the English word “ghost” and began to emerge as slang in the 1990s. However, it only became widely recognized in the 2010s when online dating platforms became more accessible. Discussions about this behavior grew, and the concept quickly spread.

It’s important to note that ghosting isn’t limited to romantic relationships. Another study found that ghosting is significantly prevalent in friendships, demonstrating that it’s not just an issue in romantic contexts. It also occurs in workplace relationships or other social connections when someone vanishes without prior explanation. But what drives someone to act this way?

Many people are conflict-avoidant. They don’t know how to handle uncomfortable situations or strong, deep emotions. The digital environment fosters such behavior, as online communication’s anonymity and speed often reduce the sense of responsibility toward the other person’s feelings. Even in childhood, it’s evident that children overly shielded by their parents later struggle to cope with rejection. As adults, they may choose to disappear to avoid accountability or confrontation.

The modern world’s “consumerist approach” to relationships also contributes to this. The online world has made it easy for people to quickly move on if they feel they can find someone “better” or “easier” rather than trying to fix things. Sadly, this is no longer considered a virtue.

Ghosting is deeply hurtful and humiliating for those affected. The abandoned person might initially think something bad happened to the other party, then blame themselves, ultimately experiencing a loss of confidence and confusion. My own story reflects this. We spoke every day, exchanged voice messages, spent weekends together, and even planned the weekend on Friday. But from Saturday onward, there was no response. By Monday, it became clear he had disappeared. I sent a voice message saying, “I’m sorry I wasn’t important enough for you to tell me if something wasn’t right, and for you to do this to me!” He left me in uncertainty, ruining not just my weekend but also deeply shaking my self-worth.

I asked for only one thing back: my toiletry bag, which contained an important piece of jewelry. I also sent a gift my daughter had chosen for him in a letter. The next day, he blocked me and removed me from his contacts, happily posting online as if nothing had happened. My jewelry wasn’t returned, and emotionally, I was crushed by the realization that someone could treat a seemingly trusting relationship with such indifference.

In such situations, people struggle with countless questions. “What did I do wrong? Wasn’t I good enough? What did I mess up? How could this happen? What didn’t I see?” These questions make it harder to move on and can impact trust in future relationships. Research suggests that ghosting can lead to emotional trauma, with effects that can linger for years. It leaves a mark, deeply hurts, betrays, and makes one feel exploited and discarded.

Still, it’s crucial to understand that if you’ve been ghosted, it’s not your fault. This doesn’t define you but rather reflects the other person’s emotional poverty. It’s worth building relationships with people who respect and value you and who can understand their emotions. To avoid ghosting, open communication is essential, even when the situation is uncomfortable.

Ghosting isn’t just something men or women do. It’s a phenomenon that occurs among people who don’t consider the emotional void they leave behind. They fail to understand that some situations require confrontation rather than running away.

But I believe in karma! What you do will come back to you—even if not from the person you did it to, it will surface in another situation. That’s why I’d rather face my feelings and pain than leave someone in doubt they don’t deserve.

Ghosting is not okay!
Ada