In recent decades, the increasing loneliness among men, known as the “male loneliness epidemic,” has become a serious social and health issue. Numerous studies have long pointed out that men are prone to experiencing emotional and social isolation throughout their lives, which can have severe mental and physical health consequences. Modern technologies, such as online dating applications and the AI-based algorithms used within them, while offering opportunities for new relationships, can also pose risks for lonely men.

Research on Loneliness and Findings

Research on male loneliness is not new, as this issue has been examined for decades. One of the longest-running longitudinal studies, Harvard’s Study of Adult Development, started in 1938. This study examined how the quality of relationships affects happiness and health. The findings indicate that men who lose their network of supportive friends or family in midlife often suffer from loneliness, which increases the likelihood of depression and anxiety, as well as the risk of early death.

The British Psychological Society (BPS) has shown in several reports that men, particularly in middle age and older, tend to withdraw emotionally and experience loneliness. This research area has gained prominence since the mid-2010s, as mental health crises and social isolation among men have received increasing attention.

Julianne Holt-Lunstad’s research, which discusses the health consequences of loneliness, is also significant. One of her most important studies was published in 2015, showing that loneliness and social isolation increase the risk of early death, similar to the harmful effects of smoking or obesity.

Robin Dunbar, a researcher at Oxford University, became known for the “Dunbar’s number” theory in 1992. This theory suggests that due to the limitations of the human brain, approximately 150 stable relationships can be maintained in a person’s lifetime. His research indicates that men tend to maintain fewer close friendships, which can lead to loneliness over time.

These studies clearly show that male loneliness is not only a social issue but also a serious health risk. The data collected over the decades highlight that this is not a new problem; however, digital tools, especially online dating applications, present new challenges for lonely men.

The Dangers of Online and AI-Based Dating

Lonely men often seek companionship in the digital world, yet AI-based dating applications carry hidden dangers. These applications attempt to suggest suitable partners using our data, but this also comes with manipulation risks, especially for emotionally vulnerable and inexperienced users.

Artificial intelligence monitors interactions and makes personalized recommendations based on the available data. However, these algorithms often shape experiences by considering the user’s behavior and emotional state. This means that a lonely man with insufficient social connections can become more easily manipulated. AI-generated chat conversations, which occur automatically, do not replace real human interactions and only heighten the user’s emotional vulnerability. If someone recognizes this but cannot process their experiences, it can further deepen feelings of isolation, leading to other mental health issues such as depression or anxiety.

Why Is It Particularly Dangerous for Lonely Men?

Men living in isolation are emotionally vulnerable and are likely to unconsciously trust these systems, especially when they have no other sources of social support. Modern dating platforms often exploit users’ emotional states, using their data not just for making connections but also for marketing purposes. Therefore, it is important to highlight that men who do not have a sufficient emotional support network and have no one to discuss the development of a new relationship with can become even more vulnerable during online dating. As a result, they may become manipulable, which some may exploit, leading to potential financial losses as well.

It is essential to talk about male loneliness, as it is a long-standing social problem that has been highlighted by numerous studies since the early 20th century. Rapidly evolving modern technology, especially AI-based dating, has created new challenges, making lonely men more easily manipulable and emotionally vulnerable in these digital spaces.

How to Recognize Loneliness and What Friends and Family Can Do

Recognizing male loneliness can often be challenging, as many do not openly discuss their emotions and may hide their inner struggles due to social expectations. Often, learned social patterns from childhood—such as the belief that “crying is a weakness”—lead men to suppress their feelings or not show them to the outside world. However, like everyone else, they also need emotional support, connections, and care. Here are some signs to watch for!

• Lack of Social Connections: If someone regularly declines social events or has fewer friends, this may indicate loneliness. For example, if someone who was previously active in social gatherings or shared hobbies is now constantly finding excuses to miss out, it may be a warning sign. A friend can reach out to the person in person and offer a joint activity—such as a hike or coffee—to help them out of their lonely situation. Personal connection can significantly alleviate feelings of isolation.
• Emotional Withdrawal: If someone is emotionally withdrawn, does not discuss their problems, or has difficulty expressing their feelings, this may indicate loneliness. In such situations, the individual may ignore phone calls and messages or provide superficial responses. If a close friend or family member notices that the man is responding less frequently to messages or avoiding deeper conversations, it’s worth directly asking if everything is alright. It’s crucial not to leave him alone, as this could lead to a complete disconnection from the outside world.
• Physical or Mental Health Problems: Loneliness often leads to depression, anxiety, sleep disturbances, or physical health decline. For example, if a man suddenly shows significant weight loss or gain, suffers from insomnia, or neglects personal hygiene, it may indicate more serious mental issues. In such cases, a family member or friend can directly offer help, such as accompanying him to a doctor or professional who can support him.

Practical Examples of Offering Help

1. Regular Visits: If you notice that a close friend or relative is lonely, maintain contact in person, not just via phone or messages. Often, lonely people refuse direct offers of help, but if you visit them regularly, it can help alleviate feelings of isolation. You can have lunch together, go for a walk, and discuss the next meeting. Step by step, you can lead him to realize that he is not alone!
2. Active Involvement: Offer activities that he enjoys and invite him to socialize so that he can connect and deepen new relationships. For example, you can invite him to a shared sporting event or community program where he can meet other people. Physical activity and community participation can positively impact their mood, aiding connection and self-esteem.
3. Joint Activities: Offer joint household or hobby activities that provide motivation for his days. For example, you can help tidy up his home or assist with gardening if you see that he has neglected his surroundings. This can be not just physical help but also emotional support, as these activities make it easier to open up and build relationships more naturally.
4. Encouraging Help-Seeking: If you feel that the man is struggling with serious emotional or mental issues, encourage him to seek professional help. In a direct but empathetic conversation, you can offer to accompany him to a therapist or counselor. Often, the hardest step is acknowledging the need for help, and significant support can come from their immediate environment.

It is essential to recognize that the greatest gift for lonely men is constant attention and presence. Often, just having someone available, reachable, and emotionally open can make a significant difference. It’s important not to judge but to support, and not to impose our solutions—often, simply listening to them means more than any advice. Direct care and ongoing attention can help ensure that these men do not become completely isolated.

Let’s look out for each other!
Ada